How many of me does it take to change a lightbulb?

  Ordinarily even I, with my admitted limited
handyman abilities, have no problem removing
a dead light bulb  from its socket and replacing
it with a new one.
   But the light fixture on our front porch
presents its own unique challenges.
   I keep it on all the time.
  Before our street light was repaired recently
my porch provided the only light on our end
of a very dark block.
   Several weeks ago the last of two bulbs in
the fixture burned out. The frame that covers
those bulbs also holds six pieces of glass.
   There's one on each side of the cover and a
big one on the bottom that broke who knows
how long ago and now actually sits in place
as two pieces.
   The whole fixture is held in place by two
very long screws that go through the frame
of the fixture and into a one and a half inch
piece of wood on the porch ceiling.
   I tried removing the screws with a hand
held screw driver. I think I would still be
trying to turn them had I not realized that
we have a drill that doubles as an electric
screw driver.
   The power tool made things a lot easier
even though you're literally working on
something right above your head.
   In that position you are apt to remind
yourself that once the screws are out
the fixture becomes the property of
gravity! That reality makes this all a
one hand on the drill, one hand on the
fixture project.
   I suspect this is what jugglers go through
in their basic training.
   Anyhow I took out both dead bulbs and
replaced them with two brand new 60 watt
beauties from the Dollar Store.
   It seems, however, that the channels for
those screws must branch off like subway
tunnels somewhere inside the wood because
they sure didn't want to go back in place.
   I refused to surrender, however, and
eventually had each as tight as I could.
   Everything seemed fine for nearly two
weeks. That's how long those Dollar Store
light bulbs lasted.
   So yesterday, armed with two new bulbs
and the electric screw driver, I tackled the
task again.
   The screws are now refusing to
acknowledge any pre-cut channels into
the wood. And I've learned that pushing
too hard on the electric screw driver
apparently has the effect of unscrewing
the light bulbs you've just installed!
    So I took my wife's advice and
pushed the broken bottom glass out
of place just long enough for me to
re tighten the light bulbs.
    So far, so good.
    Now I'm trying to remember where
I bought those two bulbs I just put it.
    I should know for sure in about two
weeks!
    Hope you've seen the light and that
all of your NEWS is good!