The Late ___________

       SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5TH

               THE LATE ________

      It's said that some people are so
routinely behind schedule, they'd be
late for their own funeral.
      Well rejoice procrastinators!Turn
off that alarm clock. Kill the sound on
your cell phone. This is "Be Late For
Something Day!"
       Although no one has yet been
identified as the founder of this
unusual "holiday" it is always
observed on September 5th. I guess
it was originally suppose to be on the
4th.
       The Rabbit from Alice In
Wonderland could catch his breath
today.
       It's easy to celebrate. Just show
up late for anything you're attending.
Any of you with young children should
have no problem doing your part!
       And, let's face it, tardiness is not
only very common, it's sometimes in
style. We've all heard about showing
up "fashionably late" to a party!
      Who among us has ever visited a
Doctor when he (or she) has been on
time?
       I was never able to take advantage
of this holiday when I worked in News.
If we showed up late the newscast
would have started without us.
       So, enjoy the day. Take your time.
Be late. Unless, of course, you're the
Groom heading to your wedding. If
you're not there on time you're likely
to become "The Late Mr. _________"
      Hope you read this before it's too
late and that all your NEWS is good.