The Shining...I mean, the Shiner!

     I can see the headline....''Reporter gets
Periorbital Hematoma!'
     Of course it's more likely to read
'Reporter gets Black Eye!'
    Getting a black eye isn't a good thing.
    If you get one it either means you've
done something wrong or.....well...your
eye is black!
    I didn't do anything wrong. My eye
is black after the skin surgery I had
done on Friday.
    It isn't the first time I've had a black
eye.  In fact the first time actually
involved two black eyes! Both were
mine!
    I had been pushing a friend on his
backyard swing when he jumped off,
and the empty wooded seat came back
faster than anticipated, hitting be right
on the bridge of my nose! It was wide
enough to catch both eyes!
    I never got a black eye from fighting.
    I guess I was always able to run
away fast enough!
    My daughter gave me one, one time!
    She was taking karate at the time.
    I faked a punch her way to test her
reflexes.
   They were great!
   She blocked the mock swing with one
hand and connected with my eye with
the other.
    That may have been the first time I
used makeup on TV.
     Explaining the bruise to my
colleagues was a bit embarrassing, I
probably should have made up a good
story
    Like the scar that's left from the
operation I had on my back more
than 20 years ago.
    I tell the grand kids and their
friends it's from a shark bite! I can
expand on that story any which way
I choose!
    I think I'll do the same thing with
the shiner I'm sporting now.
    You  folks know the truth. But if
anybody else asks  I'm  going to tell them
it's a personal tribute to the Network
I indirectly worked for all of those
years.
    Hope you've got a good story ready
for all occasions and that all your NEWS
is good!