Double Your Pleasure!

      OK gang! It's the last day of September. So let's send the
 month out with a bang! Well...let's make it a Pop!
      You see September 30th is Chewing Gum Day!
       Nobody seem to know the origin of this unique "holiday."
       But chewing has been around for a very long time. The
 first chewing gum making machine was patented by Thomas
 Adams in 1871.
       He's the guy who came up a licorice flavored gum called
Black Jack!
       Of course there's all kinds of flavored gum these days in
addition to sugar free chewing and bubble gum.
I still get in trouble when I chew my gum around my wife.
She says I chew "too loud" and sometimes "like a cow."
       It  doesn't sound that loud inside my head and, anyway,
cows don't chew gum!
       I began chewing gum to avoid waste. It came in my
 pack of Baseball Cards.
       I think chewing gum is good for people. It keeps some
from smoking or eating too much. And think of all its other
features!
       Gum can be used to plug leaks (temporally of course).
       Some gum still comes wrapped in tin foil. That wrapping
can complete electrical connections! In the days before circuit
breakers gum wrappers used in place of a dead fuse have kept
the lights on in some houses (usually just before they burned
to the ground!).
       And there's always some gum around. Always in stores
and often under the seats in stadiums!
      Gum has only three natural enemies. Mothers, wives, and
 teachers! Chewers should try to avoid all three and never get
 caught blowing a bubble in the vicinity of any of them!
      You might want to celebrate the day with some Double
Mint or, perhaps, some Double Bubble!
      Remember, though, should you come across a Mom, Wife,
or a teacher try to dispose of your gum properly and avoid
swallowing it!
       Hope your chewing gum keeps its flavor on the bed post
 overnight and that all your NEWS is good!