It's Not Delivery. It's DeCosmo!

   So here's the thing. My wife was in the Hospital
yesterday for some minor surgery. It was something
the doctor said he could have done in his office in
about 10 minutes.
   Since,however, there were other considerations it
was decided the procedure would be done in the
hospital.
    They call it "Short Term Stay." That does not
apply to anyone, like me, waiting for the "short
term" to end.
    Admittedly we were home that very afternoon.
    Since my wife was told to rest for the remainder
of the day I took it upon myself to provide supper.
    The choice was simple. Take a frozen pizza from
the freezer and bake it, or go out and buy something.
    A quick check of my wallet and I was off to the
freezer. Waiting there for me I found a "Rising Crust,
Four Cheese," DiGiorno Pizza."
    For all the men reading who may someday find
themselves in a similar situation, I thought I'd provide
a few tips.
    First, your pizza, like mine, comes packed in a
beautiful plastic-like wrap. Do not bake it in the wrap!
Melted plastic does not mix well with cheese no matter
how many cheeses there may be! I should point out
that I do not know this from personal experience. My
wife thought to warn me about the wrap before I pre
heated the oven.
     You will likely find your pizza resting atop a
cardboard base. Do not bake it on the cardboard base!
Cardboard has a tendency to ignite in hot ovens.
     Again, a forewarning from my better half avoided
any chance of a conflagration at my house.
     I should probably note that in addition to the
beautiful image of a perfect pizza on the box you
will, if you look carefully, discover a complete set of
cooking directions. Who would have thought?!
     Within a half hour I provided a tasty dish of hot
pizza topped with a few pieces of precooked bacon I
discovered in our freezer.
      And, lest you think I lacked the ability to deliver
the DiGiorno on my own, permit me to point out that
I did so WITHOUT setting off the smoke alarm
which usually accompanies pizza preparation in our
kitchen!
      Hope you get the toppings you order and that all
your NEWS is good!