Turning the other cheek!

  You're suppose to "turn the other cheek."
   So, yesterday, I did.
   I had some skin cancer surgery on my right
cheek about six weeks ago. But while I was
undergoing the treatment I mentioned another
questionable spot on the left side of my face
that I thought should be checked.
   The doctor agreed... although he suggested
the new spot was on the right side while the
one he was treating was on the left.
   I guess it all depends on how you look at
it. Or, in this case, how you look at me.
   It takes time to check these things out
properly. But I really don't mind!
   This doctor has the most comfortable
chair in the world!
   I've actually volunteered to become a
night watchman in his office if I could use
the chair.
   Of course, as he pointed out, I probably
wouldn't do much actual watching once
I got into the chair.
   He says I've the first patient he's ever
had that complained about having to leave
the chair. I think I told you that in an
earlier blog. But (A) it's true. And (B) I'm
still probably under the effect on my
latest anesthesia as I write today's message.
   I'm not hoping for anymore treatments.
   But I would like some excuse to get a
nice nap in his chair!
   Hope you're resting well and that all your
NEWS is good!

Plants or...the Pods?

   Have you heard about all that strange
activity on the sun?
   Big solar flares that can disrupt
communications. Some people even
claim it's the beginning of the end as
indicated by the sudden end to the Mayan
calendar this December!
    But while some of you have been
looking up....I've been looking down!
    Green things are shooting up out of
the ground!
     It all began when the temperatures started a
steady climb above the 45 degree mark.
     Just about the time all that solar stuff
started!
     Kind of reminded me of that 1956 movie
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers."
     Remember that one. Those "pods"
started showing up everywhere. They
took over people's bodies and
personalities.
     I've noticed a couple strange
personalities lately......so.....you've got to
wonder! A few of them are in or running
for public office!
    My wife has suggested the green things
are tulips and daffodils.
    But I thought the leaves
I left on the ground in the fall would delay
any growth .....especially grass which would,
eventually, have to be mowed over and
over again.
    But green things keep  coming up everywhere.
    And now...my wife has raked up many of
those protective leaves!
    I wonder if I'll have to try to stay awake....
like in the movie? They couldn't get you
unless you fell asleep!
    Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of
people out there who are falling asleep!
    I've seen a couple of drivers who may have
already been replaced by bodies grown in those
pods!
    But don't worry. If I don't see flowers soon
I'll start yelling...."They're here!!!"
   Hope the green things popping up in
your yard are just plants...and that all your
NEWS is good!
  
  

Hy-Yo Dinosawruh!

    The title line is a lyric from the 1960 hit
"Alley Opp" by the Hollywood Argyles.
    It came to mind as I started thinking
about dinosaurs!
    And why, you may ask, was I thinking
about dinosaurs?
    It's actually a logical thought..... sort of.
   But you'll have to try to follow my logic
   It all started when my son mentioned
seeing a movie about Polka King Jan
Lewan.
   In case you don't remember, or never
heard the name, Lewan is a Grammy
nominated showman who went to prison
for his part in a securities scheme.
   Now you may be wondering what Lewan
has to do with dinosaurs.
   I'm glad you asked!
   Before the "Polka King" went to the
pokey he operated a gift shop in Hazleton
where he sold souvenirs from his native
Poland. He gave me something from that
shop many years ago.
   It was a piece of amber with a
mosquito inside!
   Now think back to the movie Jurassic Park!
   Remember how they cloned dinosaurs
from the blood  they took from mosquito's
trapped in amber? See, the mosquito's had
bitten dinosaurs before they got trapped in
the tree sap that became amber.
   So they took the dinosaur's DNA from
the mosquito and implanted it in a frog's
egg to make a dinosaur.
   If modern science would just take a hint
from the movie we could be making
dinosaurs!
   And maybe my piece of amber would
be valuable!
   I guess that's why dinosaurs have
been on my mind....what else could prompt
those thoughts?
   Hope I've got you thinking about them
too and that all your NEWS is good

Get an Ear full of this!

  I suppose many of you are thinking about
Chester Greenwood today! And rightfully
so!
  Old Chester's invention came in pretty
handy for some of us over the years and
many a mom will be celebrating this
special "holiday" created in his honor!
   What holiday? You mean you didn't
know?
   I thought everybody was aware March
13th is  "Ear Muff Day!"
   Maybe you just didn't hear about it
because your ears were covered?
   It's always observed on March 13th.
   That's the day, in 1877, when Chester
Greenwood patented the "Champion Ear
Protector."  No, I didn't cover that story!
   According to the Holiday insights web
site they became know as ear mufflers and,
later, ear muffs."
   With temperatures predicted near 70
today there's a chance we may not see
too many ear muffs today.
   Yet I've know my wife to carry and
wear a par in mid summer when I've
got the Miata top down and there's a
cool breeze towards dark. Or when I
set the van's air conditioning system
to a level that's comfortable for me
but too cold for her!
    If you see anyone wearing ear
muffs today you should probably
congratulate them for their knowledge
of history and the importance of this
anniversary. You should then see if
you can get them help!
    I think Chester would be glad to
know his invention has survived and
prospered over the years....at least in
some climates!
    Hope you won't be needing your
ear muffs for awhile and that all your
NEWS is good!

It's About Time!

   OK. If you followed the instructions you
got up at 2am yesterday morning and set all
of your clocks one hour ahead!
   That's 2am Sunday!
   So, today, you should be trying to figure
out why your body clock hasn't made the
adjustment.
   We've got about 5 clocks in our house.
    Two of them are built into DVD units.
    I used to spend a lot of time trying to
remember what buttons I had to hold and
push to reset those clocks.
     Then, somewhere along the line, I
figured out they were programmed to
reset themselves!
     How do they do that? I mean, we've
even changed the start and finish dates
for daylight savings time. But the units
still know when to change.
     Hold on.....One of my units dosen't
know how to do that! I'll have to find
the instructions.
     Then there's those clocks in your
car! I've got three vehicles and none
of the clocks reset the same way.
      By the time I get them adjusted
they're at least two minutes behind!
     Guess I shouldn't complain.
     I spotted some workers in
Pittston trying to get their street
corner clock back in place.
    It's the size of a commercial washing
machine!
    After 12 years it needed some
maintenance and a paint job.
     They had to lift it with a crane,
reconnect the power, then bolt it
in place.
      After all that work I pointed out
that all for of the clock's faces were
displaying the wrong time! (Unless
you're reading this at 6 o'clock!)
      I was told the clock will adjust
itself automatically!
      I'll be checking to make sure it's
right. Of course I can't check it against
any of my car clocks because each of
those is about 3 minutes off!
     Hope you got a nap to make up
for that missing hour and that all your
NEWS is good!

"Beep=Beep!" I'm "Cruising" again!

   I can go cruising again! And, if you pull
out in front of me, I can blow my horn!
   Yep! I ordered the part my son told me
to get a couple days ago. On Friday he
came up, installed the part, and put my
dash board back together.
    The part in question controls, among
other things, the horn and my cruise control.
    It turned out to be an exciting
installation!
    See, here's the thing.....the guy who
had the car before me put in these neat
little red lights under the dash and under
the front seats.
    When you turn on the headlights, these
little red lights cast their soft glow on the
floor. It's kind of like those red lights they
turn on in all the submarine movies when
they're under water.
    Anyhow, the wires for those little red
lights were kind of hidden here and there.
     And, as my son pointed out, none of the
wires were connected to any fuses!
     So, as he replaced the screws that hold
the dash in place one of them apparently
cut into one of the wires for the little red
lights.
    My son could tell there was something
wrong. He's had extensive training on
12 volt electrical systems.  Besides, it was
hard not to notice the smoke that was
filling the cabin!
    So.......he took the dash apart.......again
and either detached (or ripped out)  the
troublesome wire before it could burn
down my van!
    That's pretty good work when you're
jammed between the dash, the seats, and
the floor and fumes are filling your lungs!
    Knowing that I kind of liked the little
red lights he's decided to wire them
correctly.
    And, until he gets the wires and fuses,
I'll be able to use my cruise control and
"beep" my horn anytime I want!
   I may just have to keep the windows
down awhile to clear the air inside.
   Little red light wires make lots of smoke
when they're melting!
   Maybe we should have told him they
were hidden in there?
   Hope you're "wired right" and that all
your NEWS is good!

"Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your.......W2s?"

   A funny thing happened to me during my walk
in West Pittston yesterday!
   I spotted the Statue of Liberty!
   It threw me for just a minute because I was
pretty sure the statue was in New York Harbor.
   In fact, I remember sailing around it during a
visit to the Big Apple two years ago.
   Besides everybody knows the Statue of Liberty
is big! 151feet 1 inch tall as I recall! (I didn't
really "recall" that. I looked it up.)
   The one in West Pittston was more like 5'10.
   And it was alive!
   Wow! Just imagine. A chance to meet and
talk with the Statue of Liberty. Or a reasonable
facsimile anyway.
   This one was welcoming huddled masses
yearning to get their income taxes done at
the Liberty Tax preparation office.
   And guess what! This was no "Lady Liberty."
   It was a guy in sheep's, or in this case Statue
of Liberty's, clothing!
   He seemed pretty friendly as he waved to all
the cars that were passing by.
   I asked if people waved back. He said some
did while others acknowledged him in a not so
friendly fashion. He just took those in stride.
   The real Statue of Liberty has always stood
for opportunity. And this young man saw the
chance to wear the costume as an opportunity
too. It's part time work...just four hours a day.
Only till mid April and in all kinds of weather!
    But he says he's happy to have the work while
he searches for something more permanent.
    This guy may be wearing a costume and
dancing near the street....but I think his outlook
is as "American" as they come!
    I hope he's successful and that all his, and
your, NEWS is good!