Doctor's Orders.

        SATURDAY, MAY 23rd

          DOCTOR'S ORDERS
     The doctor's advice, in a nut shell, was
"Get more active."
     It surprised me a bit. I try to walk a
little most mornings. And we trudged all
over the place, including "jungle like"
grass, when we walked to some of those
steep cliffs on Hawaii's Big Island just
a couple weeks ago.
    Anyway we went straight from the
doctor to Lowes where two young men
loaded ten bags of mulch into our van.
    When they turned down my request
to come home with me I realized I'd be
a big part of unloading those bags in
our yard.
     Mulch, of course, is an organic
ground covering usually made up of
material like decaying leaves.
     Since we just raked up piles of
those a couple week ago I wasn't sure
why we were now replacing them with
this new material that seems to come
in 50 pound bags!
     I guess it was part of the "Get more
active" prescription!
     WAIT A MINIUTE!
     This was my wife's appointment,,,,
not mine!
      I'm going back to the couch!
      Hope she enjoys spreading the
stuff and that all your NEWS is good.   
   

Borrowed Time

          Friday, May 22nd

    Hope you've enjoyed the last four
years! You weren't suppose to have
them. How soon we forget!
    According to a prediction made by
Christian Broadcaster Harold Camping
the world was suppose to end on May
21st., 2011.  Four years ago yesterday!
    That prediction prompted some of
his followers to sell their homes and
possessions in preparation for
Judgment Day.
    I took a chance and wrote a Bog
that day anyway. I kept writing even
after he "adjusted" his prediction to
October 21st., 2011. Guess I'm just a
risk taker. Or maybe I just remembered
that Camping had originally called for
the world to end in September of 1994.
    I had just about forgotten about
Camping when somebody pointed out
that the Mayan calendar ended abruptly
on December 21st., 2012!
   Surely that proved the world would
actually end on that date, What a
bummer. Right before Christmas!
    When that date found everybody
still here I had to run out quickly to
buy presents!
     Now here we are, 4 years later, and
it turns out we've got a whole year
left!
      A Professor from Salt Lake City
who was excavating with his students
at the site of the famous Donner party
disaster of 1847 found a time capsule
left by the settlers which contained 
a prediction that nations will begin using
biological warfare and that, in 2016,
one such disease will spread and kill all
of the humans on the planet.
     So we've all got some time. Well,
not all. The end of the world finally
did come for Harold Camping. He
died on December 15th of 2013.
     I wonder if he saw that coming?
     Enjoy everyday you have, and may
all your NEWS is good!

The Pickers Were Here!

     THURSDAY, MAY 21st

  THE PICKERS WERE HERE!

  The Pickers came by my place
yesterday! I saw them!
   But as much as I looked there
was no sign of Mike or Frank. And
certainly no trace of Danielle.
Although a couple of the guys might
have been sporting tattoos like hers.
    The crew that roared through our
neighborhood seemed to have a
little different system than the guys
on TV.
    First, they took absolutely
everything, Secondly I have to
believe they aren't looking to
resale anything since they were
crushing much of their take even as
they picked it up!
     In reality, these guys were part
of our Township's annual waste
cleanup drive.
     Armed with a Pay loader, a Dump
Truck, and some very strong arms,
they've been going everywhere in our
community cleaning up old sofas,
chairs, mattresses, and nearly everything
else residents have left along the curb
side. Unfortunately they weren't taking
cats!
    They have to work fast, A Township
worker told me there are actual "pickers"
that start making the rounds as soon as
people put their trash out.
     You know what they say. One man's
trash is another's treasure! That's
especially true if there's any metal out
there. The pickers head for that as soon
as they can so they can make a few bucks
at area Scrap dealers!
      There was an old sofa out
there that looked kind of neat to me. My
wife didn't seem to fancy it.
      It's a great service to those of us who
live in the township....no matter who's
doing the picking up!
      Hope my wife hasn't put out anything
I really need......and that all your NEWS
is good!

Casting Call

        WEDNESDAY, MAY 20TH

            CASTING CALL!

     It's amazing!
     On Monday I added the description
"Actor" to my Facebook profile.
     Yesterday I was asked to play another
part!
     A friend of mine is producing a short
film based on books she's written about
the sinking of the Andrea Doria.
     For you kids out there, the Andrea
Doria was a passenger ocean liner that
was rammed by the vessel Stockholm
during a foggy night on the Atlantic
in July of 1956. 52 people lost their
lives!
     But Pierette Simpson's movie is
about the heroic efforts that lead to
the survival of 1660 passengers and
crew members.
    She knows what she's talking about!
She and her grand parents were among
those survivors!
    Unfortunately the scenes she's envisioned
for me are to be filmed in Detroit in mid
June. Much as I'd like to be a part of her
production my family and I will be in
New Jersey for our annual vacation!
    It's a non-paying part so, in that respect,
it's just like the television work I'm doing
now.
    It would have been quite a challenge.
    She had wanted me to play journalist!
    Talk about being type cast!
    Heck I've still got clothes that fit the time
 period! In fact, I still wear them!
    I would have loved to stick a "PRESS"
sign in the brim of my hat or run after
survivors with a Kodak camera.
    I suppose Brad Pitt has turned down
some roles too!
    Hope he doesn't take any of mine, and
that all your NEWS is good.

   

My "New' Career!

        TUESDAY, MAY 19TH

         MY NEW CAREER!
   I have edited the profile on my
Facebook page. I added the word
"Actor."
   I was prompted by the premier of
the movie "All In Time" in which I
have a very small part.
   There are some really great actors
in the movie so, at first, I wasn't
sure I'd fit in.
   Then I realized....I've been acting
most of my life!
   One of my best roles came during
my school years when I could come
up with a contorted face and
impressive groan in a moment's
notice when I suddenly realized I
might be facing a test for which I
was totally unprepared!
   It's a challenging part! You've
got to display pain and discomfort
just short of that which would have
your parents carting you off to a
doctor's office!
   Then there was the "Innocent
role" Also know as the ...."It wasn't
me routine".... needed on very short
notice after you actually did do
something wrong. You could say
I was typecast for that one!
    A poor performance might, back
in those days, result in a
rough ending. Literally.
     Years later that acting technique
would come to mind when the
flashing red lights of a police
cruiser showed up in your rear
view mirror.
      "Sad" often proved challenging.
Especially when that boss you really
didn't care for announced he was
moving somewhere else.
      You'll got to seem sincere when
you say "We're really going to miss
you."
      Kids don't realize how a dose of
"Macbeth" can come in handy as
life goes on!
     Now that I've finally made it
to "the big screen" I'm so glad
I had all those years of rehearsal!
     Hope you make it a point to see
"All In Time" when it comes around,
and that all your NEWS is good!
   (No! I really mean it!)

    

   

Still At The Office!

          MONDAY, MAY 18TH

         STILL AT THE OFFICE!

    It's been two years since the final chapter
of "The Office" aired on NBC.
    I'm still watching the reruns. And they're
still bringing back memories of some of the
crazy characters I've worked with during on
on going broadcasting career. 
    I remember one boss way back in my early
radio days who walked in shortly after taking
the job and told me I was being moved to
mornings where he and I would be doing a
two-man comedy show!
    We became "Chet & Dave" and the program
was called "Sundial."
    I would watch him drive up in his topless
Austin Healey sports car every morning. He
either had no top or it didn't come up any more.
   Then he'd get out his quart of milk, needed
for his ulcer, come up to the studio and we'd
do the nuttiest things we could think of!
    I worked with an engineer who operated
under the assumption every piece of equipment
in the place, including the "News Car,"
belonged to him! He'd get like Dwight if you
wanted to use it for things like, well, gathering
news!
   Then there was the book keeper who practically
made you sign if you needed a new pencil!
    Those are just a few examples. I could describe
a lot more. But there's that thing about "protecting
the innocent!"
     I was glad to see the old episodes of The Office
running here are there on various channels.
     As long as they're running people will be reminded
there's a town called Scranton.
    I think that's a good thing.
    Now, back to work sorting all these paper products!
    Hope all your parties are like Scranton parties and
that all your NEWS is good!

 

Right On Track

         SUNDAY, MAY 17TH

       ON THE RIGHT TRACK?

  I've always said if I were President I'd
require railroads to return a caboose to
the end of every train. It's probably as
good a platform as any formal candidate
has offered thus far!
   Yesterday we found one. A Caboose,
not a candidate.
   Ironically it wasn't at the end of a train.
In fact there wasn't any train. Just a
Caboose and some railroad memorabilia.
   There was just enough sun, although
you often had to look for it, to prompt
us to put the top down in the Miata and
head out and about.
    After winding our way along back roads
here and there we found ourselves on route
690 not far from the community of Moscow.
(That's the one in Pennsylvania by the way.)
    We were coming up a hill when, suddenly,
we saw it! A big red Caboose standing on
just enough rails to hold the thing. No track
in front or behind.
    As luck would have it the unit sat just off
to the side of a Snack Stand appropriately
named "The Caboose!"
    Naturally we had to stop to enjoy the
ambiance and, in my case, a cheeseburger!
    We need more cabooses like this! Especially
if they come with cheeseburgers and vanilla
malts!
    Just goes to show my platform has merit!
    Hope I'm on the right track and that all
your NEWS is good!