GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME!

      SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 15TH., 2019
     GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME!

    I was invited to church on Saturday. My
good friend Dan Shission is the Lay Speaker
at Dymond Hollow Community Church.
   He's come up with a monthly breakfast
program that invites members of other area
churches to come together to share a meal
and hear from a speaker/
     Saturday was the first breakfast and I
was the first speaker.
     Speaking wasn't the problem. I speak
all the time. My wife and some others
think I may speak too much.
       The problem was the fact that
"Breakfast" was specified in the invitation.
        As some of you probably already
know breakfast is usually served in the
morning. I'm not bIg on mornings!
        Dymond  Hollow Church is about
45 minutes from my home. The breakfast
was set for 8:30. That meant I'd have to
get up about 7 to make sure I could clean
up and get there on time.
          Since "retiring" I no longer
recognize 7am as a legitimate part of
the day,
         But I'm proud to say I did it!
         I even arrived in time to actually
sit down and enjoy the food and fellowship
with those kind folks who got up early to
share a meal and listen to me!
          That's got to say something for
them!
           I was so impressed I offered to
come back again! Hope they ask me and
that all your NEWS is good!
     

 

WHAT'S' ON FIRST!

   SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 13TH., 2019
                WHAT'S ON FIRST!

    I know! I know! You're going to tell me
it's suppose to be "Who's on first" from that
famous old Abbott and Costello comedy
routine. 
     And I agree. I love that old bit.
   In fact I was wearing my Abbott & Costello
T-shirt, with the entire routine on the back, at
an auction Friday evening.
     We were waiting for the actual bidding to
begin when we decided to enjoy a dish of
sausage and shells from the concession
stand.
      That's when my wife discovered that
the first spots to hit my shirt were from
the tomato sauce. The stains from the
chocolate bar were next. So, in my case,
the "What's on first" was sauce!
      I've never claimed to have a magnetic
personality. But most of my shirts seem to
have an attraction to food.
      I use napkins and even what I believe
to be reasonable care. Still they come!
      If only I attracted money that quickly! 
      Hope the Tide Stick works and that
all your NEWS is good!

A DAY TO DEFY!

   FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 13TH., 2019
              A DAY TO DEFY!

    It is Friday the 13th. For some, a day to
be weary.
    But it is also "Defy Superstition Day!"
    It's amazing how superstitions impact
our lives. Even though we don't always
realize it.
    For instance, try and fine the 13th
floor or a room numbered 13 any place
in New York City. Or most any other
big city as well! They are few are far
between.
     I never had any special fear of the
number 13. In fact I often welcomed
it when visiting my local bakery.(Do
they still do that?)
     But for whatever reasons a lot of
people are superstitious.
      This is a day to confront those
unnecessary worries!
       So go ahead, walk under a ladder
or let that black cat walk right in front
of you!
        Have no fear! I don't (knock on
wood!)
        Hope your lucky lottery number
comes up and that all your NEWS
is good!

     

PONG!

     THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 12TH., 2019
                            PONG!

    Today is Video Games Day!
    I admit to being somewhat behind most
of today's video game players. I still have
a Flip phone and it's Games Library is
limited to Scrabble and UNO.
     I have not played either although in
the case of Scrabble my reluctance is
based far more on my inability to spell
as opposed to my technical malfeasance.
     To me "Candy Crush" is simply a
description for chomping on a Life
Saver.
     But I do remember Pong!
     It was a device that looked like a
small TV set with two knobs.
     When you turned it on a little dot
sailed across the screen. Each knob
lifted a small straight line up and down
on that same screen. If the line blocked
the dot's trajectory it went back the
other way.
       One contestant worked the knob
on the right while the other manned the
one on the left. The object was to block
the dot in its flight. If you missed the
other player got a point.
        Not very sophisticated by today's
standards. But it used up a few of my
hours back in the day. Kept me out
of trouble. (I think!)
        So on this special day I offer a
salute to Pong, one of those games that
got things started!
         Hope you not spending too much
time on those screens and that all your
NEWS is good!'

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!

    WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11TH., 2019
              NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!
 
     It's an Idiom. And a phrase  I've used for the
title of this daily blog. And, as it happens, September
11th is "No News Is Good News Day!"
    Talk about ironic!!!!
    The day we're asked to refrain from listening
to, watching, or reading news happens to be
the same date as one of the very biggest news
stories in American history!
      As most of you know I've spent the better
part of my life delivering news. That included
9/11/2001 when I stationed myself at the
Tobyhanna Army Depot thinking it could be
a potential target of the terrorism that struck
our country that day,
       Thankfully it wasn't and I was able to
concentrate my reporting on just how ready
our area military installation was,,,just in case!
        News most often deals with occurrences
that are not pleasant.
        Walter Cronkite once described news as
watching yards of white linen coming off an
assembly line. It's suppose to be white. That's
the norm.
          When you suddenly see a black spot
you want to know why it's there.
           Newsmen and women are suppose
to alert you to that spot. Editorials may
suggest ways the spot can be removed.
           Some people complain about news
being "negative." But if there's black smoke
coming from the factory near your home
there's a good chance you'll want someone
to tell you why it's there and what's being
done about it.
             That's the news you'd be looking
for!
             News reporters these days are
often chastised for offering "Fake News."
That phrase is almost always linked to
political news. Highlight a decision by
a politician you like and that's news.
              Report that same politician's
involvement in a controversy and you're
likely to believe it's all made up.
              Good reporters, and there are
still plenty of them, offer the basics that
have always produced news. Who, what,
where, when, why and/or how.
             No news really isn't good news.
             It's ignorance.
            Hope all your NEWS is good!

FINDERS, KEEPERS!

   TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10TH., 2019
              FINDERS, KEEPERS!

    So when I was growing up this is the way
it worked, If you found a quarter on the
pavement you were immediately 25 cents
richer!
    It worked a little differently with objects
other than coins. If you came across
something like a pair of binoculars in the
woods you usually made some effort to
find out who the owner was.
    Of course if a reasonable effort failed
to identify that person those binoculars
probably wound up in your closet.
     I remember reading of a couple cases
where large sums of cash were found. In
those instances when the owner could not
be located the police usually turned the
money over to the finder.
     Now you've got the case of some folks
who suddenly found thousands of dollars
in their checking account. Money they
didn't put there.So they started to spend it.
      Now I confess I have absolutely no
idea how much money is in my checking
account. My wife is our bookkeeper and
a good one at that.
      But were I sent out to make some
purchases by check it's totally conceivable
I'd spend more that she put in.
      If the bank made a mistake and deposited
money to our account I'd never know it until
after it was spent.
      Obliviously I'd never spend thousands
 without checking with my wife.
       The folks who spent the money they
didn't deposit will be facing consequences.
Possibly even jail time.
        Now I'm thinking the  "Finders, Keepers"
argument may not cut it in court.
        I wonder if I should put that quarter
back? Wait a minute...I already spent it
70 years ago on two comic books. I may
still have the nickle change!
        Hope my wife's checking our checking
and that all your NEWS is good.
     

RIGHT ON TARGET!

   MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9TH., 2019
             RIGHT ON TARGET!

   After church and a visit to watch our
granddaughter cheer her mini football
team on to victory my wife and I
headed home to enjoy some left over
ham and cabbage.
    The clouds covered the sun for too
much of the early afternoon to be sure
of a pleasant afternoon drive so we
decided to stick around and just do
something at home.
     My agenda worked out well.
     I watched the Eagles game although
throughout the first half I thought it was
a replay of Penn State. No matter. They
both won.
      A nap seemed a good move after
all that excitement so I took one.
      But, when I awoke, I had some
unused energy to use up.
       I decided to get some exercise by
taking some shots with my recently
acquired .22.
       Shooting isn't too difficult but the
walk up the hill behind my house can
be a killer!
        I only took a few shots, all aimed
at an old soda can some previous visitor
had left in the woods.
        I am pleased to report that in
addition to hitting it a couple times I
also got one confirmed kill!
        It was a mosquito that attacked
me without provocation as I was about
to fire at the target. Just so we're clear
on this I got him with my right hand,
not my rifle! It was right on target!
         Hope I remember the repellent
next time and that all your NEWS
is good!