It's Not Like It Sounds!

   It began as a pleasant drive back from
our camper on Tuesday.
   With temperatures in the 90's my Miata
top was down and the engine's mild but
constant roar was the kind of sound that
reminds people you're in a Sports car.
   Kind of like a Ferrari in a paper bag!
   Then, just after we sailed over one of
Pennsylvania patented Pot Holes, the
bag broke!
    Suddenly my wife and I found ourselves
sitting in a little red car that sounded like
NASCAR's Jimmy Johnson and Dale
Earnhardt Jr. were racing neck and neck
with me! But no one else was around!
    My tailpipe had surrendered to the
bounce and separated from my muffler.
    For the sake of anyone out there who
might not know, the muffler is that part
of the car that acts like a silencer on a
pistol. It reduces the motor noise from
you car's engine.....UNLESS....the system
breaks!
     I stopped at the nearest safe spot to
have a look underneath. Keep in mind
the Miata sits about 6 inches off the ground!
     It's not easy to see what's happening
under there let along do anything about it.
      We managed to nurse it home with an
occasional scrape and a few spark as the
hanging section of tailpipe hit the pavement.
        It goes to the shop today. But I had to
eliminate the scrapping to avoid more
damage.
         There was only one way so, with my
most sincere apologies to Joan Crawford
I used a metal clothes hanger to hold the
sagging pipe above ground till the experts
can get their Super Glue in there. Sorry,but I
had to Mommy Dearest!!!!
         Hope they can keep just a tad of that
Ferrari sound for me and that all your NEWS
is good!

Hitting The Shower!

    I have found myself confronted with
a "lose/lose" situation.
    I try to get in a two mile walk most
mornings after which I hit the shower.
But here's the thing. My home shower
delivers nothing but hot water!
    You turn the valve in the direction
that should lead you towards "Cold"
in the hope you be able to stop it at
just the right blend of hot and cold
to make the water feel comfortable.
    But somewhere deep inside our
plumbing a gremlin must be saying
"let's get this guy" at which point he
diverts most of the cold water to
some unknown place.
    It's not so bad in the winter.
    You come in from a walk through
30  degree temperatures and, perhaps,
some snow. That's when my shower
feels pretty good.
    But in case you haven't noticed
outside temperatures have been ranging
between 80 and 90 over the past few
mornings. It's tough to come into a
stream of water that seems as hot as the
outside air!
    Not one to let things get the best of
me I followed yesterday morning's
walk with a trip to our camper where
I also got some yard work exercise in.
   I figured the shower there, though
somewhat small, would offer a perfect
blend of hot and cold water and a
soothing start to my "non work" part
of the day.
    And it probably would have.....had
I remembered to fire up the water
heater!
     Instead I stood, unprepared, under
a steady and sudden stream of water
that seemed to be piped directly in the
shower head from some glacier in
British Columbia!
     Perhaps you heard the scream!?
     People nearby must have thought
Norman Bates was paying a visit!
     Oh well, hot or cold, at least I'm
clean!
     Hope you have a better way to cool
off and that all your NEWS is good!

Silent Movies

    There was a time when movies were all
silent! The actors had to portray their
character's emotions through their
expressions and gestures.
    T thought that was many years ago.....
until Sunday night!
    My wife and I paid another visit to the
Garden Drive In Theater to take in the
popular animated feature "Despicable
Me II."
    Of course Drive In Theaters don't have
those speaker you used to put in your car
window to hear the feature.    
    The theater's radio transmitter was working
fine as the twilight faded into darkness. It was
blasting some "tune" that I can't name and
wouldn't care to hear again anyway.
     Then the spotlights on the concession
stand went dark and the screen when bright
with a preview of a coming attraction.
      But, alas, there was no sound.
      The preview stopped, then restarted,
but still our speaker was filled with what
we in broadcasting call "dead air."
       The first frame of the featured movie
popped up next. But the two "Minions"
seen on screen might just as well have been
Charlie Chapman and Buster Keaton because
if they were saying anything, we couldn't
hear it!
       My thoughts flashed back to the days
when my Dad was a Projectionist. He showed
the first sound movie in our hometown of
Hazleton. He had to synchronize a record of
Al Johnson singing with the actor's lips on
screen. And he checked those Drive In
Speakers in later years to make sure they
were working right!
     Now theaters are using digital projectors.
You insert a small package into the machine
and press a button to start the show. It's as
easy as that ...EXCEPT when something
goes wrong!
    Since many theaters have a Manager that
doesn't know much about projecting except
how to press the button.
     I don't know who knows or doesn't know
what at the Drive In. But we waited well over
a half hour before those two "minions"
re-appeared on the screen and started to make
noises we could hear in our car! Of course
half the drivers in the place were blowing
their car horns well before that. As if their
horns could magically fix the sound problem!
    I had finished most of my pop corn by
then and had already opened my Twisters
licorice.
    I felt bad for the Dads who had hoped to
get the feature in for their kids and still get
home in time for some sleep before their
Monday morning work shift.
    In the end we did see and hear the whole
show though we left a lot latter than
originally planned. Of course there would
have been no problem with the "old
fashion" speaker system!
     Hope they did better with their second
feature! I was well down the road before
Intermission even got started!
     Hope you're on "sound ground" , movie
or not, and that all your NEWS is good!
    

" I'm going out and eat Worms!"

   There's an old children's song (the
song is old, not the children) that
goes something like this......."Nobody
likes me, Everybody hates me, Guess
I'll go out an eat worms!"
    Well whether you're loved or
hated this is the day to live the song!
     It's July 15th! This is "Gummi
Worm Day!"
     Now so that we're completely
accurate here, Gummi Worms
were actually preceded by the
original Gummi Bears!
     They first showed up in Germany
in 1922. It wasn't until 1981 that
the first Gummi Bears were
manufactured here in the United States!
The Gummi Worm was introduced that
same year. And the rest, as they say,
is history!
 These days manufactures have, in some
cases, added Vitamin C, to the worms, or
bears, or other creatures now offered to
hungry kid consumers.
   Of course these treats tend to stick to
the teeth and can lead to tooth decay!
Dentists love them!
   But wait! Gummi Bears and Worms
containing the cavity-fighting additive
xylitol, a type of wood sugar, are now
being tested. And one company has
developed a line of gummi candy which
is proved to help the immune system !
   Wow! These Worms are sounding
better and better all the time!
   So take some time to celebrate
today! Have a pack of Gummi Worms!
And if worms aren't your thing remember
that thanks to good old American
ingenuity we now have Gummi
rings, frogs, snakes, hamburgers, cherries,
sharks, penguins, hippos, lobsters,
octopuses, apples, peaches, oranges, and,
of course, the old standby Gummi Bear!
    Hope you can get the little pieces out
of your teeth and that all your NEWS
is good!

.....And You Don't Mess Around With Jim!

   My wife and I went for a nice ride yesterday!
We didn't set out for any specific destination.
But as we cruised down a steep mountain road
we suddenly found ourselves leaving a wooded
suburban area and coming into the eastern part
of the community of Jim Thorpe.
    One of the first things that comes into view
is a beautiful stone monument surrounded by
statues and a landscaped area which includes
plaques highlighting the life of the man for
whom this town was named. Or, in reality,
for whom this town was re-named!
    The remains of Jim Thorpe, described by the
once King of Sweden as "the greatest athlete
in the world" were entombed in this small
Pennsylvania community when he died in
1953. His wife entered into an agreement
with what were the towns of Mauch Chunk
and East Mauch Chunk to have Thorpe
interred there even though he had never
actually been to the area. In return, the
towns legally changed their name to Jim
Thorpe.
     Recently, however, a Federal Court
decision agreed with children of Thorpe's
second wife who want the body dug up and
moved to Indian territory.
     Jim Thorpe had three wives during his
life. Descendants of his first are content to
have the remains...remain where they are.
So, two out of his three families are OK
with Jim Thorpe staying in Jim Thorpe!
    So am I!
    It was so great to see people stopping to
pay tribute to Jim Thorpe even though he
has already been gone for 60 years. This
place has become the recognized shrine to
the man and his achievements!
     And, by the way, isn't this resting place
about as "native American" as you can get?
The original name, Mac Chunk, was
derived from the term "bear mountain" in the
language of the native Lenape people!
    The Borough of Jim Thorpe has appealed
the latest Court decision and I'm hoping it
wins this "Indian battle!"
     As Jim Croce said in song..."You don't
pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger. And
you don't mess around with Jim."
     Hope Jim Thorpe stays in Jim Thorpe and
that all your NEWS is good!

   













Jim Thorpe

There's A Painting,On the Corner, In Pittston, Pennsylvania

    My title, of course, is to be sung to the tune
of  "A Pawn Shop On The Corner In Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania."
    But it's not a Pawn Shop that drew hundreds
of people to downtown Pittston last night. They
came, apparently, for the Art!
    The city's Second Friday Art Walk took place
last evening. Artists show and hope to sell their
work, musicians perform in several downtown
parks and parking lots, restaurants set up tables
outside, and people from all over show up to
take all this in.
     I was unaware of the festivities as I headed
downtown in the self proclaimed Tomato Capital
to get an extra mile walk in for the day.
    I noticed the heavy traffic pretty quickly. But
the crowds, tents, entertainment, and art displays
didn't come into view until I had trotted a few
blocks from my parking spot towards center
City. Even in a light rain...there they were!
    I knew I was far too early for the Tomato
 Festival. Jeter had already left town. And there
was no reason to believe word had leaked to so
many people that I'd be along for a walk.
    It had to be something else. There was far
too many visitors for the Pizza parlors on the
main drag.
    About then I started to see the paintings,
photographs, and crafts set out in tents set up
along my path.
    This effort to lure people was working out
so well that had my exercise efforts were
halted every few feet by crowds completely
blocking the sidewalk! I should have brought
some of my Stick figure drawings to sell.....or
drawn some right there!
     I grew up at a time when "downtown" was
the place to be for shopping or entertainment
nearly every night.
     You've got to wonder.....if these special
efforts work one night a month....why not
once a week?
     I for one would like to see it! Of course I'd
also like to know in advance so I can adjust
my exercise route!
     I'm getting out the crayons now so I'll be
ready next time!
     Hope you "get the picture" and that all your
NEWS is good!

    

Flying High!

      As far as I know my grand daughter Jenna
has only been in an airplane twice. On flights
to and from Florida.
      And yet she's constantly in the air!
      You see Jenna is a Gymnast!
      She runs along a ramp,thrusts herself
into the air, somersaults and twists, then,
hopefully, lands on her feet!
      Or you're apt to find her on a
trampoline bouncing high into the air
doing all sorts of flips that scare us
earth bound people but delight the judges!
      This is especially amazing to me since
I sometimes fall down while going for a
walk. I can do some of the same twists.
But never intentionally and usually landing
on another bottom part of my body!
       Maybe she can teach me how to
turn my stumble into an artistic roll.
      Jenna spent part of this past week in
Kansas City taking part in National
Championship Competition.
      These are not the school yard contests
you may remember from "back in the day."
      You have to qualify in one of three
events in your own State just to be eligible
to get into this big show!
      Jenna was the only one of her local team
 to qualify in all three!
       There was a bit of competition. 231
gyms from across the nation and a total of
about 2000 competitors.
        She must have know how David felt
when he first spotted Goliath!
         Still, Jenna had decent rankings
overall and made the top 20 in Tumbling out
of 36 excellent competitors!
        Who knows how well she would have
done had she just waited till today! You
see it's her Birthday which, of course, means
another age category. I wonder if there's an
age group for me? Maybe I could slip, twist
and tumble, and win by default!?
        Anyway it's just lucky for the other
contestants that there wasn't a 4th Category.
If they threw "Beauty" in there the other 1,999
would be in trouble!
       HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNA!
       Hope the rest of you have your feet on
the ground and that all your NEWS is good!