HELP WANTED?

  TUESDAY, APRIL 12TH.
        HELP WANTED?

   The old radio comedy team
of Bob and Ray used to close
their show with the admonition
"Write if you get work."
   Labor statistics reflect a high
unemployment rate around our
area. So how come I keep
getting emails about job
opportunities?
    Within the past 24 hours I've
received emails from "Jobatron,"
and "Job Revolt," among others.
The latest tried to lure me with
the headline...."A job that you'll
love."
    A closer look notes the need
for workers at Sam's Club, Night
Security officers, a Gaming
Surveillance Officer, and an
"Order Puller" (what ever that is.)
    There's an ad for a Delivery
Driver at $49,000 a year. I think
we can safely assume that's not
Pizza deliveries!
    And then there's $52,000
wanted posting for a "Crime
Scene Assistant." For that kind
of money they may be looking
for a get away driver!
    How great it is to realize
there are so many interesting
jobs just waiting for applicants.
     It almost makes me want to
forget that I am "retired." Almost
is the key word in this case!
Hope your dream job is waiting,
that I can just keep dreaming,
and that all your NEWS is
good!    

   
  

ROLL OUT THE.....

     MONDAY, APRIL 11TH.
          ROLL OUT THE...

   Forget the Barrel. Roll out the
cameras!
   There's a movie in the works
about the man "Who Would Be
Polka King!" No. Not Bobby
Z. Although a case could be
made on his behalf.
    This flick is to be about one
of Bobby's polka buddies who,
for a time, was based right here
in northeastern Pennsylvania.
     Jan Lewan is a Grammy
winning polka band leader
who immigrated from his
native Poland to Canada and
then to the United States. He
settled in Hazleton where, in
addition to scheduling his
musical tours he operated a
shop featuring gifts from his
native country.
     I interviewed him at that
shop years ago. While there he
presented me with a piece of
Amber with a mosquito inside.
I had high hopes of using the
technique seen in "Jurassic
Park" to make my own
dinosaur. But I never got around
to it.
    I might have turned to Jan
for advice. But he ran into legal
problems that took him off the
road for several years. That's
part of his story which is now
is being set to film.
     They've picked Jack Black to
play the lead. Jan could probably
do it himself. But, if not, I thought
Bobby Z would be great in the roll.
Bobby, in turn, suggested George
Clooney might play me.
    Whoever plays whoever, I'm
hoping they'll do some shooting in
and around Hazleton. That's where
his story evolved.
    Even though I spent the first 6
years of my broadcasting career as
a DJ I really didn't play many
polkas. Most stations that did had
someone on staff capable of
pronouncing the titles. I am very
familiar with "The Pennsylvania
Polka" having seen "Groundhog
Day" about 50 times. I hope it's
in the movie. That way Scranton
gets a plug.
      In any case Jan's true story is
a good one and well worth hearing.
Or, in this case, seeing.
      Hope it's a hit and that all your
NEWS is good!

   
 

A TALE OF TWO APRILS!

     SUNDAY, APRIL 10TH.
   A TALE OF TWO APRILS          

   I spent a lot of time indoors
Saturday!
   Part of it was accidental. I
decided to rest my eyes for 15
minutes and woke up about 2
hours later wondering what
time it was and whether I
might be late for something.
   I decided I'd better get some
fresh air and check the mail.
Bad move! Somehow those
traditional April showers had
turned to snow flurries pushed
along by a cold Canadian breeze.
    Last April 10 it was a warm
tropic breeze messing my hair.
I was in Hawaii. On the Big
Island.
    Now to be honest there was
snow there too. But it was high
atop Mauna Kea mountain,
13, 796 feet above me! It's one
of the places we decided not to
visit!
    April around here may never
quite equal April in Hawaii. But
I remember it being a lot closer
than yesterday!
    Hope our breeze warms up a
bit soon....and that all your NEWS
is good!

I'LL TAKE A PASS!

   SATURDAY, APRIL 9TH.
       I TAKE A PASS!

    The Boys of Summer came
back to PNC Field in Moosic
Thursday night. I think they
showed up a little too early!
    Summer seemed a long way
off when I showed up to pick
up my Press credentials about
three hours before game time.
     The air was downright cold
and still damp from the heavy
rain that came down most of
the morning and early afternoon.
      The sun did come out for
awhile offering hope to all who
had waited half a year to hear
the call "Play ball!"
      As I said, I was there early.
Only one man stood ahead of
me at the lone open ticket
window. He was wearing a
Met's jacket. But he was buying
a number of tickets for upcoming
games. Perhaps those against
the Met's Triple A team. I'm not
sure if he bought one for opening
night.
     Some folks did. I saw a few
people in the stands on TV as
wnep carried the game, or what
there was of it, on it's secondary
station. The rain started to come
down in buckets again and the
game was postponed to be
resumed as part of a double
headed yesterday.
     I'm a baseball fan. But I'm not
a fan of sitting out in cold, damp
weather so, for now, I used my
Press credentials and....took  a
pass!
    Hope now that "the boys" are
here, summer shows up soon...
and that all your NEWS is good!

  

   

MR. MOM?

     FRIDAY, APRIL 8TH.
           MR. MOM?         

   I found myself in sole
possession on my grandson
yesterday. My wife and I
watch him every Thursday.
But yesterday my wife had
to rush out rather suddenly
when a Doctor she was trying
to see had a cancellation and,
thus, an opening in his
schedule. With another
appointment already on her
calendar a few hours later
she decided to drive herself.
     No problem. I play with
my grandson all the time, I've
sung lullaby's to him and told
him nursery rhymes. I've changed
his diaper. I've prepared and
given him his bottle.
     Wait!!!!His bottle! Where
was his bottle? It was pretty
clear he wanted one. 8-month-
olds had a way of telling
you they want a bottle without
speaking! It's very declarative!
       As I held and reassured
him the first in a long series
of telephone calls came in!
One was from a Doctor's
office who needed a list of
my wife's medications.
     Now I was trying to calm
a hungry baby, find a bottle,
and bottles of pills I never
touch, let alone attempt to
pronounce.
      Perhaps a call to my
wife. No. Her cell phone is
only turned on twice a year
or so when she begrudgingly
makes outgoing calls.
      My grandson had little
interest in that or the other
calls that came in although
he did make his presence
know to those listening on
the other end.
      I had visions of filling
an empty water bottle with
formula then punching a
small hole in one finger of
a rubber glove. I think I
saw them do that in a movie
one time. But, alas, no
rubber gloves! Besides, the
phone kept ringing!
      I contacted his Mom. But
fearing she might be in the
middle of a meeting I did so
by text. Have you every held
an unhappy baby in one arm
and tried to text with the other
hand? Juggling swords seems
an easy exercise in comparison!
      Fortunately Mom was in
a position to take a break from
work and rescue her baby....and
me!
     With both arms free I completed
all telephone assignments then
collapsed on the couch.
     As my wife returned she
reminded me that she had
handled three kids at home
when I was at work. Can't argue
with that!
     Think I may pick up a spare
baby bottle today! Or at least
some rubber gloves! And shut off
the phone!
     Hope my grandson got his
bottle...and that all your NEWS
is good!

In a happier moment!

 

IS ANYBODY THERE?

 THURSDAY, APRIL 7TH.
   IS ANYBODY THERE?

  I wasn't sure if I should bother
writing a Blog for today.
  I was watching Inside Edition
yesterday and saw the story
about Hilldale Utah, headquarters
for the Fundamentalist Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
It is a Polygamist church founded
by Warren Jeffs. The now former
President of this "church" had
predicted that the world would
be coming to an end, for all but
his faithful followers, on April 6th.
   I usually write my Blog before
Midnight and publish it sometime
after 11:30. Since Jeffs didn't
specify any specific time for the
Apocalypse I wasn't sure I could
get a Blog prepared and published
in time.
   I couldn't ask Jeffs. He's serving
a life sentence, plus 20 years, on
Federal charges.
   So I'm writing this at 8:24PM
on Wednesday, April 6th...just in
case you're still around!
   Hope you are....that you'll WRITE A
COMMENT  to tell me....and that all
your NEWS is good!

JUDGEMENT DAY!

      WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6TH.
            JUDGEMENT DAY!

      Wait! Don't panic! In this
case I'm the judge! And you aren't
on trial!
       My good friend Sue Henry
from WILK radio recruited me
to be one of the judges for a
contest involving Oklahoma
radio stations showing off their
best efforts.
       I'm not new to this sort of
competition. For many years
I chaired a group of area
broadcasters judging Associated
Press news competition from
states all over the country.
      Back then we'd gather in a
studio somewhere, open
envelopes filled with tape
recordings, fit them on a tape
recorder, listen and pick our
winners.
       Boy have things changed!
Sue sent me a Web site address
where I was to listen to all the
entries on my computer. When
I tried to log on a message popped
up telling me that my computer
wasn't set up to play the material.
      Fortunately I had access to
another laptop. When I got that
one and fired it up I was welcomed
to the contest site. I turned my TV
off, plugged in my headset and, just
like my "old days," listened to a
whole lot of reports on all kinds
of issues. Only all of them were
from Oklahoma!
     Remember the Musical
Oklahoma? The biggest issue
in that play was whether  "The
Cowboys and the Farmers
should be friends!"
      These days they're worried
about drought, earthquakes, oil
drilling, and the turbines that
are spinning as "the wind comes
sweepin' down the plain." Heck
they could  all have been reports
from Pennsylvania!
      Well after a mess of hours
and a lot of reflection I picked
out the reports I judged to be
the best.
        Hope there's no appeal....
and that all your NEWS is
good!