If Anything Can Go Wrong......

  It was just suppose to be a simple trip to
a medical center so my wife could visit one
of her half dozen or so doctors.
  We were headed for the Clarks Summit
area so, to make the trip as easy as possible
we took the Turnpike.
   We sailed right through the first "Easy
Pass lane" near Taylor. But after seeing a
"Low Balance Warning" on one of the
pike's toll plazas on a recent trip to
Philadelphia we decided to take one of the
"Cash or Easy Pass" lanes when exiting
Clarks Summit to see if we'd get the Green
Light or another warning.
  Well we didn't get either! The little traffic
light device mounted just ahead of us was
dark.
  And between it and me....there was a gate.
  And the gate was down!
  There were two options. Back up 5 feet
and insert 90 cents or.....well you know the
other.....and those gates are probably 
expensive!
   About that time an attendant (I didn't
know the Turnpike Commission still had
any humans on staff) came out
and explained that our Easy Pass wasn't
activating the equipment. I had sort of
figured that when the gate didn't go up.
   So I fumbled through my pockets and
came up with the cold hard cash that
did the trick!
   Knowing we'd need money for the
return trip I got the change ready ahead
of time. Easy Pass or not, this time I'd
be ready.
   And I was, except for the nickle that
fell on the floor!
   Not wishing to drive forward while
my face was on the steering wheel and
my hand combing the floor mat I opted
to use a dollar bill.
   Brand new dollar bills slip right into
a special slot on the Turnpike's Automatic
Toll Takers. Of course old dollar bills,
wrinkled on all edges, take a little longer
to be accepted. I, of course, had an old
dollar bill.
    Still, after just two or three attempts
the machine finally gulped down my
dollar and I heard the sound of a dime in
change as it fell into the coin container.
   That container, in fact the whole
Auto Toll Taker, must have been designed
by someone who either had ten foot long
arms or a vehicle with a lot of scrape marks
on the driver's side.
   Anyhow, change in hand I headed for the
final toll plaza of my journey. This time
my wife was holding all the change so,
with a short toss of quarters, nickles and a
dime I'd be able to shoot right through.
   Except....for the guy ahead of me!
   He and his traveling companion were
apparently gathering change as they sat at
the booth, tossing one at a time as they
found them into the funnel-like receiver
on the Toll Taker.
   I had apparently entered the "Not So
Easy Pass Lane!"
    Finally free of the Turnpike I headed
for Walmart for some bathroom cleaner
and razor blades to replace the Dollar
Store batch I bought the other day that
seemed to have been sharpened on a stone
somewhere in a field.
   The new blades, I'm sure, will be fine.
   But my wife told me I bought the wrong
kind of cleaner. "It's OK", she said, "this
will do" (in a voice that suggested she
would rather take it home than explain
why it was the wrong product).
   We pulled up to the house and, as I
got out to open her door, the horn sounded
and the engine restarted.
   "What did you do", my wife asked?
   "I'm not sure, I said, "but whatever it
was, I'm sure it was wrong!"
    Some days you just have to wave a
white flag!
    Hope you have the correct change and
that all your NEWS is good!