The Egg and Us!

      Easter eggs! They're everywhere....they're
everywhere!
      I watched kids scramble to find "hidden"
Easter eggs at two gatherings yesterday. We
missed a third hunt by about 15 minutes.
      If a child plays his or her cards right it's
possible to consume a month's worth of
chocolate in a matter of minutes following
an Easter Egg hunt!
       Of course some of the candy survives,
at least long enough to feel the heat of the
sun through the windows of a warm car.
       I actually remember one year when
one of the hidden eggs was discovered
long after Easter. Luckily that one was
made of plastic!
        There are plenty of real eggs colored
each year for the holiday.
        You can usually enjoy the colors on
the eggs or on the hands of the children
who helped to dye them.
         And after you've enjoyed the eggs as
decorations you can enjoy them as
lunch. One suggestion here.....make sure
they were hard boiled before rolling them
in you hands to crack them open.
         My wife decided to design a few
Pisanki Eggs this year.
         Special dyes are used as these eggs
are used as murals for all sorts of artistic
designs. Sometimes the eggs are hollowed
out before the art work is applied.
        My wife choose to use the eggs "as is"
to begin her project.
       I thought her first attempt was pretty
impressive.
      She was working on the second one
when I heard the "splat!." The term
"butter fingers" came to my mind....but
never to my lips!
       As a wise man once said...."A closed
mouth gathers no feet!"
       Hope you've enjoyed your eggs, sunny
side up or chocolate, had a Happy Easter,
and that all your NEWS is good!
      
       

   

Car "Art"

   There seems to be a growing tendency on the
part of some people to "decorate" their vehicles
with what I will generously call "car art."
    I guess it's not all that new.
    Bumper stickers, for instance, have been
around for many many years.
    Too many I think!
    They are very difficult to remove and
can become very dated!
    And who wants to see a 68 Corvette with a
Bumper Sticker proclaiming "Nixon...He's the
One!?"
    I never much liked the idea of adding slogans or
decals or other such items to cars.
    That said I will admit to adding a little silver
plate bearing the inscription "This car custom
built for David DeCosmo" to the dash of my
1963 Austin Healey Sprite. It wasn't of course.
     But the plaque was neat. And it was inside
where only I and my passenger could see it.
     I thought it might impress her...ah....them!
     I think things like baseball team logos belong
on baseball hats and T shirts, not on the rear
windows of Fords and Chevys.
     Then there's that little guy whose making
obscene gestures or worse at the incorporated
logo of some team or type of car the driver
doesn't like.
     The latest fad involves little stick figures
usually depicting a couple of adults and one or
more children standing hand in hand with happy
faces.
      I initially thought  it represented the
number and size of the people the driver had
run down.
      Don't get me wrong. I'm all for self
expression. I'd just rather see it in a Blog!
      Hope you "Brake for animals" and that
all your NEWS is good!

My Close Brush With MILLIONS!

  The big Mega Millions Jackpot was a mere
$540 million when I bought my ticket while
returning to Pennsylvania from Virgina last
Thursday.
   One million dollar jackpots don't even
attract any body's attention anymore.
   But the Mega Millions Mania pulled me
in.....as it did so many other...suckers....I mean
players.
   I didn't really think I had any chance of
winning.
   In fact I didn't even look at my ticket as or
just after the winning numbers were drawn.
   I heard something about groups of people
in other states that would have to share the
winnings. But I never looked to see who or
where they were.
   My ticket sat, untouched, on my dresser
right where I left it when I arrived back
home a week ago today!
   Then, Tuesday, I heard our local radio
talk show host, Nancy Kman, reporting
that she had won $10,000 in the drawing.
    I had forgotten that, in addition to the
big winners, people with some but not all
of the winning numbers also qualified for
a piece of all that loot.
    Could I be one of them?
    It was time to find out!
    And so 4 days after the drawing I went
back to my room and grabbed my ticket.
    A quick check on the Internet allowed
me to review the winning numbers.
    And guess what!!!!!????
    There were six numbers drawn!
    One was a "2." I had a "1."
    One was a "38." I had a "39."
    One was a "46." I had a "47."
    Wouldn't you think that was close
enough for an Honorable Mention?
     Well, anyway, it's kind of neat to
know that one of those winners....maybe
the millionaires....maybe Nancy.....will be
using my dollar with their first purchase.
      Spend it wisely!!!!!!!
      (Not on a lottery ticket!)
      Hope your luck is great and that all
your NEWS is good!

The Thrill of Victory/The Agony of De Feet!

   The day has come I never thought would happen!
   Maybe it's a "guy thing." I don't know.
   I can only tell you that I've always been reluctant
to give up on a pair of socks!
   Comfortable socks can be like a dependable
blanket that gives you a confident and secure
feeling. On your feet anyway.
    For that reason I have, on occasion, tried to
save a pair threatened by the sudden development
of a small tear or hole by single handily threading
a needle and  attempting to repair the damaged
spot. Those salvage operations always made me feel
victorious!
    But my wife has always frowned on such heroic
attempts.
    I was never quite sure if her objections were
based on my unique stitch, the fact that I sometimes
used a color thread which differed from the
color of the sock (hey the sock is under a shoe or
sneaker anyway) or whether she was just jealous
of my initiative.
    She always insisted it was cheap enough to buy
a new pair.
    In fact often when my socks began to show what
I considered to be a mild sign of wear, they would
disappear before I ever got a chance to preform
emergency surgery.
    Just as suddenly a bright new pair would appear
in my drawer!
    For some time I was under the assumption that
the Shoemaker's elves had a subsidiary division
that worked solely with socks.
    Anyhow, yesterday morning I noticed not one
but two holes developing in a pair of my white
socks.
    I thought for a moment or two about invading
my wife's sewing room on a search for a thread
that might come close to a match. But this time,
for whatever reason, the ambition just wasn't
there.
    So this time I threw in the towell...or in this
case the socks!
    I waived them briefly as a sort of white flag
and tossed them into the waste can!
    I guess it happens to all of us sooner or later!
    Perhaps the "Sock Elves" will take notice and
bring a replacement pair!
    Remember, "No Shoes, No Socks, No Service!"
    Hope all your NEWS is good!


  

You Can't Get There From Here!

  There's no shortage of direction signs to
get motorists onto Interstate 81 between
Wilkes-Barre and Scranton.
   Yesterday, however, those signs should
have read "Parking Lot Filled."
   The construction season has begun and
the northbound backup started near
Wilkes-Barre and continued pretty much
to the Electric City.
   I was headed to Scranton to host a
weekly show I do on Electric City
Television.
   The drive usually takes about 20 minutes.
   I couldn't risk being late for the program
so I diverted to the Turnpike.
   But just as I drove on to the entrance lane
three huge Penn Dot trucks managed to block
the ramp to Scranton as they ran
interference for a forth vehicle that was,
or appeared to be, spraying water along
side of the road.
   At least they were moving. So, 3 minutes
later,I found myself safely on my way.
   I'm glad I wasn't late for the show/
   My two guests were from the Pennsylvania
Department of Transportation and I wouldn't
have wanted to keep them waiting!
    We talked about a lot of things like
texting and the new Junior License requirements.
    We also talked about construction and
efforts the state is making to keep drivers
up to date on repair projects and alternate
routes. What I didn't ask about......and should
have....was traffic control!
    I can remember a time when an officer
would have been posted near the spot where
lanes were to merge when one was closed.
    He would control the flow which, although
often slow, would usually keep moving.
    Now what you see is a parked State Police
car with flashing lights just before the backup
begins and usually just past the exit you could
have used to escape the mess!
     Well, like I said, construction season has
begun! And, as baseball players are fond of
saying......"It's a long season!"
      Hope you know another way to get from
here to there and that all your NEWS is good!

  

A Sake Sunday

  Razor sharp blades flying through the air! A
sudden burst of fire! An erupting volcano!
  Sunday at the movies....right?
  Nope!
  These scenes were offered up right in front of
my eyes at a Japanese Hibachi Restaurant!
   It's not one of my regular luncheon stops.
   I'm more of a "meat and potatoes man."
   But we were invited to join some friends at
a Birthday celebration and this place offered
a floor show with its food!
   We had our own individual chef at our
table. He was both the cook and the entertainment!
 And he was good at what he did.
    I was grateful for his expertise as I sat just
three feet away as juggled some cutlery and
proceeded to set the grill on fire! If only I had
some marsh mellows!
    He didn't have a lot to say......other than
"Happy, Happy" as he squirted some sort of
liquid directly into our mouths. He identified it
as "Sake." And the more he squirted the more
some of the recipients became "Happy, Happy."
   Since steak was an option on the menu I
choose it.
    Luckily "Chef Happy, Happy" sliced it into
pieces as he cooked it.  That would have been
difficult for me because my "silverware"
consisted of one fork and two long sticks of
wood. I used the fork.
   I'm told the other choice was chop sticks.
   But I don't see how you could chop anything
with them. They're too thin.
   And, oh yes, the volcano. The chef formed
it out of food then ignited it like a candle so
we could sing "Happy Birthday" to our guest
of honor! It sounds a little different played
on gongs!
    Someone should tell these folks about
Birthday cakes!
    Everyone had a great time and I know we'll
all be back.
    I'd just like to see them add a cheeseburger
and fries to the menu!
    Hope you are "Happy, Happy" and that all
your NEWS is good!

One Of "Those" Days!

  It is April first. One of the most dangerous
days of the year.
  It's April Fools Day! And, make no mistake
about it. we are ALL targets!
  You are most vulnerable first thing in the
morning!
   If we truly had all the snow storms I've
been awakened to on this day each year area
Ski Resorts could have operated into mid
June!
   You should probably be resolved to
being "fooled" at least once today
and many more times if you're in the
proximity of children!
    You should avoid "deals" no matter how
good they sound! Besides, I already own
the Brooklyn Bridge!
    And don't think you can escape by
running elsewhere.
    April Fools Day, though not an actual
"holiday", is observed in many countries
around the world.
    Pranks and jokes are expected today.
    It's a day during which we expect to hear
lies.....making it an especially good day
to be on the campaign trail!
     In Sweden most newspapers publish
one false story on April 1st. Since we
enjoy Freedom of the press the practice
isn't restricted to one specific day!
    It's also a big day for jokes in Poland.
    A fact I find somewhat ironic!
    I, of course, do not support or
condone such frivolous activities!
    I may write more about my feelings
after I clean all the snow off of my car
from last night's blizzard!
    (April Fool!!!!!)
    Hope you can take a joke and that
all of your NEWS is good!