YOU CAN'T TELL THE PLAYERS WITHOUT A SCORECARD!

               FRIDAY. MARCH 15TH., 2019
YOU CAN'T TELL THE PLAYERS WITHOUT
                      A SCORECARD!

   I was listening to one of my favorite old time
radio shows on Sirus/XM yesterday. It was "The
Life of Riley" will William Bendix. A few of you
may remember the show from TV but I go back
to its radio days.
   One of the funniest characters was "Digby
O'Dell the friendly undertaker." His dialog always
ended with "Well, I've got to be shoveling off."
   It got me to thinking about how things we used
to take for granted have been altered over the
years often to fit political correctness.
   Anybody call those in the profession "Undertakers"
any more? These days they're all Funeral Directors.
   Kids used to play "Cowboys and Indians."
Somehow "Cowboys and Native Americans" just
don't have the same ring to it.
    There are still Barbers around but must now go
by the title Hair Dressers or Stylists.
     One of my first jobs in radio was as a janitor.
I think they became Maintenance men sometime
back.
     Some of you will remember my asking when
did guard rails become guide rails and traffic
circles become roundabouts?
     I'm sure there are many that I'm just not
thinking of as I write. But maybe you know
of some. We should be gathering a list so we
could make up a modern scorecard for older
folks, like me, to follow.
     Hope you can add a few and that all your
NEWS is good!

AND WHILE YOU'RE OUT........

   THURSDAY, MARCH 14TH., 2019
      AND WHILE YOU'RE OUT....

    My wife decided to use the day for a
sewing project she's been wanting to finish
so I figured I'd hit the couch and fire up a
Netflix movie. Before I could scan the
choices I was reminded we both had
prescriptions to be picked up at our local
pharmacy.
     Then came those words! "And while
you're out maybe you'd like to wash the
car." That's marriage code for "Wash the
car!"
      No doubt is needed it! Our three-year-
old grandson was climbing on board Monday
when he declared "The car is very dirty!"
      The closest car wash is very close to the
Mohegan Sun Casino.  I find that very
appropriate since the timer at the car wash
seems to gobble up quarters as fast as any
slot machine you've ever seen!
       I believe the designers of car wash
machinery are skilled mathematicians who
have carefully calculated the amount of suds,
water, and time it takes to clean 3/4 of an
 average automobile. That's when the one
 minute warning usually sounds on the
 cleaning apparatus!
        Fortunately I had tucked away a few
extra quarters and had them in a pocket
close enough to reach before the water
stopped!
         So the car is clean, the prescriptions
were picked up and I expect my sneakers
will be dry in just a few hours!
          Hope I don't need any quarters for
parking meters and that all your NEWS
is good!

THEY'VE GOT YOU COVERED!

   WEDNESDAY, MARCH 13TH., 2019
       THEY'VE GOT YOU COVERED!

    No. This is not an insurance commercial!
It is, rather, a salute to an invention designed
to help us through the cold winds of winter.
    It's Ear Muff Day!
    It was on March 13th., 1877 that Chester
Greenwood patented the "Champion Ear
Protector."
     Somewhere along the line they became
known as "Ear Mufflers" and that was
eventually shortened to Ear Muffs.
      Although generally unknown south
of the Mason/Dixon Line Ear Muffs have
protected northern ears from cold and
infections since they were first introduced.
      Up until very recently my wife was
under the assumption I wore them all
the time. Then she found out I just don't
hear as well as I used to.
       Hope we don't have much more use
for them this season and that all your
NEWS is good!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

   TUESDAY, MARCH 12TH., 2019
       HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

   Guess who's 107 years old today? It's
the Girl Scouts. Well, not the girls. It's
the Girl Scout Organization! I don't
believe any of the original members
are still around.
    Juliette Gordon Low started the first
 Girl Scout group in Savannah Georgia 
with 18 girls on March 12th., 1912.
That was a month before the Titanic
went down!
    There's a lot more of them today. And
that includes our granddaughter 
Mckenzie and her Mom who's been
helping out with their weekly meetings.
     Girl Scouting runs in our family
although I've never been one myself.
I was a Scout for awhile. A Cub
Scout.
      My wife was a Scout Leader
when my daughters were involved in
the program and both of our older
granddaughters were Girl Scouts
for a time.
      These days there are Boy Scout
Troops that are enrolling girls. 
However you feel about that it
probably would have kept me in
Scouting a lot longer if they did
it when I was a Cub!
       Thankfully, one tradition
remains unchanged. The Girl
Scouts still sell cookies! Our
order has already been placed
with our granddaughter and
delivery is expected soon.
       Hope you're ordering
some from your favorite
Girl Scout and that all your
NEWS is good.  

TAKE THAT DST!

   MONDAY, MARCH 11TH., 2019
               TAKE THAT DST!

   It's the first Monday after the
beginning of Daylight Savings Time.
That means it's "Napping Day!"
   How appropriate!
   Most of us are wondering what
happened to that hour that
disappeared suddenly at 2 Sunday
morning.
     I got up at 8am to get ready for
church but my mind and body still
thought it was only 7! Later, network
TV was already running prime time
programming when it only seemed
like it was time for the news!
      Since there seems to be no way
to "ease" into DST I not only endorse
Napping Day, I got started early with
a few winks Sunday evening!
       15 minutes a day over 4 days
should even things out a bit!
        Hope you get a few Z's and that
all your NEWS is good!

MAN WAITS FOR NO TIME

   SUNDAY, MARCH 10TH., 2019
      MAN WAITS FOR NO TIME!

   I know! It's suppose to be "Time waits
for no man." But I don't personally know
anyone who stays up till 2AM to Spring
Forward into Daylight Savings Time.
    I, probably like most of you, started
adjusting the clocks in our house well
before bedtime. After I found them all!
    There are two, possibly three, clocks
in our house that we look at on a regular
basis. Actually those clocks are kind of
right in our face throughout the day.
     A couple other time pieces are a bit
less observed but are there none the less.
     I hate to confuse any young people
who may be reading this but two of our
clocks have hands! A big one and a little
one (and, in one case, one that turns every
second!) Where they point revels the
time (If you're learned how to do that!).
      Anyway,  both of those clocks are easy to
reset. In the case of DST I just push the
big hand clockwise one full rotation.
    Our other clocks have buttons and
switches that have to be engaged in
specific order to set the time correctly.
Sometimes I even remember how to do
it!
    And about the time I think I've
got everything right I'll step into one
of our cars and realize there are a couple
more clocks to be adjusted.
     I'll likely be late for that task because,
in that case, time didn't wait for me!
    Hope you're all right on time and that
all your NEWS is good!

MOVIES ON THE MOUNTAIN!

   SATURDAY, MARCH 9TH., 2019
     MOVIES ON THE MOUNTAIN!

   Mountaintop has a lot going for it.
Restaurants, a brand new sandwich
shop, a great ice cream place, and
all kinds of small stores.
    I always wondered why it didn't
have a movie theater. In did years
back! A Drive In Theater! It closed
when somebody discovered there
was more money in the land than
the films.
     Last night though we went to a
movie on the mountain. Well, sort
of.
     Once a month during the fall
and winter our church opens it's
hall to anybody who wants to come
for Dinner and a Movie!
      Last night's feature was a great
old comedy with John Travolta
and Robin Williams.
      The menu featured baked potatoes
with all kinds of toppings and Chili. I
actually choose to top my potato with
the Chili!
      It was a great way to bring members
of the community together to enjoy a
night out and it's always good to see
people who don't attend our church
join us for the fun.
      The movies are always "classics"
and the food home made. They even
have popcorn if anybody needs it after
the meal. And the admission is as
reasonable as you'll find anywhere.
Three bucks!
       Hope everyone ate their fill and
that all their, and your, NEWS is good.