General Hospital vs. Top Chef!

  I guess you could say I trained for both
of those popular TV shows yesterday. And what
an interesting day it was!
  It began with a trip to the Penn State
Hershey Medical Center where my wife was
scheduled for her four week checkup after
foot surgery.
  She's making real progress. She seemed
very upbeat! This was the day when they
were to remove a metal pin which had been
inserted into the bone of her big toe the
day of her operation.
  I was excited too. What a surprise when,
among the sterile gauze pads and bandages
I saw them place a pair of pliers! They
looked like something you might have brought
in from a trip to Harbor Freight! Wow! We're
surrounded with all this high tech medical
science and the instrument in the spotlight
is a pair of pliers! Maybe I could get
into this business! I could even get a
screwdriver and maybe become a
'specialist!'
 I've already learned how you judge someone's
 level of pain. You ask them!
 Just use a scale from one to ten and let
them pick the one that fits. If the number
is high enough they'll give you stuff that's
illegal on the street to make the pain go
away And who wants pain!?
 See. It's easy!
 Now the 'Chef thing.' That may be a little
bit harder. You see when we got home I got
the task of making dinner. Of course my
wife was sitting just a few feet away
offering instructions and suggestions.
 The menu...sausage, rice, and peas.
 I liked making the peas! I got them out
of the freezer and put them in the
microwave for about 3 minutes. My wife
told me to add a 'teeny, tiny', bit of
water. I couldn't find any measuring
cups that offered 'teeny, tiny' as a
selection so I just ran what I would
call 'a little bit' from the faucet
into the pan.
 The rice was a little harder. My
measurements were accurate since
two actual cups of water were involved.
 But the 'little bit of butter' could
have been trouble. I decided to cut
off a slab and show it to my wife before
adding it to the pot. I lucked out and
got just the right amount! As for the
'pinch of salt', I faked my way
through that and shook the shaker twice
over the mixture. It came out good and
the little bit left in the pan after
serving will probably break loose and
fall out someday soon.
 As for the sausage...no problem. Except,
perhaps,a little too much water in the
pan. That seemed to slow down the
cooking process a bit so I just dumped
some out and watched till in browned.
 It tasted great!
 I had feared that the matching brown
'gook' left in the bottom of the pan could
 be trouble.
 Luckily we've got one of those pans
where that stuff just wipes right out.
 So there you have it.
 Eat your heart out Doctor House.
 Move over Gordon Ramsey.
 Double D is coming!
 Hope all your NEWS is good!