Green Acres!

  It's rained a lot this Spring.
 Maybe you already noticed.
 When the skies finally
cleared for a couple hours you
could see all the beautiful
flowers that had bloomed over
the last few weeks.
 Mixed in among the buds were
other growths.
 Some have undoubtedly
contributed to the watery eyes
sore throat and coughing that
marked the arrival of Spring
for me and everybody else
who's trying to deal with
allergies.
 The other noticeable 'growth'
was grass. It's getting high.
 I was tired but thought I'd
try to give it a quick trim!
 You know how the guy challenged
to a duel hes the choice of
weapons?
 Grass cutting for me is a lot
like that.
 We've got two lawn mowers and
two weed whackers.
 Our newest is a gas powered
mower. But I had no gas. And,even
if I did, it's been my experience
that a mower unused
for a year, and in my hands, will
refuse to start until there's
actually blood between my pointer
and index finger.
 Scratch the gas mower.
 We also own an old electric
lawn mower. It's very dependable
when it comes to starting and
I've only run over the power cord
once.
 Unfortunately the cowling over
the cutting blade is bent, rusted,
and broken a bit.
 That, coupled with scattered rocks
from our parking area, can turn
the unit into a potentially lethal
and damaging catapult.
 That's why I turned to the weed
whackers. One is red. One is Gray.
 Neither have any cutting cord.
 The assembly on the red one
wouldn't come apart.
 The assembly on the gray one
fell apart and won't go back
together.
 It's not really a problem
because I don't have any
replacement line.
 Refusing to admit defeat I
have thus decided to allow
the grass to continue to grow and
have officially declared it to be
 a  'crop.'
 I can now sit back, take my
Benadryl and enjoy life here on
'the farm.'
 Hope all your NEWS is good!